Tuesday, August 07, 2007
♥unhappy birthday♥
sometimes,
it's not exactly a good thing to want to know too much.
because as you find out about the things you want to know,
you might also stumble upon those better left unknown.
i'm so sick of hurting others and being hurt.
cheating on others and end up cheated.
playing others and getting played out.
lying and realising that others haven't been honest to me too.
i feel very lost.
and i don't know what i want anymore.
it has got to be the worst birthday i have ever spent.
everything that has happened yesterday turns me off so badly.
in fact, it disgusts me.
people acting to be innocent.
pretending to not know a thing and push all the blame away.
trying out all different ways to make you buy their story,
or share their plight.
stop acting.
it's not exactly a good thing to want to know too much.
because as you find out about the things you want to know,
you might also stumble upon those better left unknown.
i'm so sick of hurting others and being hurt.
cheating on others and end up cheated.
playing others and getting played out.
lying and realising that others haven't been honest to me too.
i feel very lost.
and i don't know what i want anymore.
it has got to be the worst birthday i have ever spent.
everything that has happened yesterday turns me off so badly.
in fact, it disgusts me.
people acting to be innocent.
pretending to not know a thing and push all the blame away.
trying out all different ways to make you buy their story,
or share their plight.
stop acting.
thank you for protecting and loving me in such a self-centered way.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
thanks jawslyn for spending the night with me.
it would have been an even worse birthday without you.
at least i am happy with you, jawslyn. :*)
we talk, we curse, we drink, we puke, we KO together.
looking forward to more.
:)
i feel like disappearing.
i need a sunrise too.
i don't want anymore sunsets.
seriously, no one really gives a shit about me.
don't pretend to lah.
you're probably more interested in saving your own backside.
but well, except for mom of course.
she is the one who is with me always.
nothing beats kinship. period.
if you ask me,
i'd really wanna watch a long weepy soppy drama now
to cry my lungs out.
i'd really wanna grab my guitar now.
to strum and scream my favourite song.
i'd really wanna get drunk.
to forget about every damn thing.
i'd really wanna hug my mother
to kiss her and tell her how much i love her.
i'm just gonna do what my heart tells me to.
i want to study hard!
i didn't expect myself to spend so much time on this blog entry.
but it is really therapeutic to write like that.
birthday's over.
the twenty second year of my life is going to be all about myself.
myself myself myself.
the twenty second year of my life is dedicated to making myself happy.
i am so pissed at myself feeling sad for so long.
it ends today.
Comments:
gal, i totally agree with what you said in your entry. i just want to say that, things will really pick up and get better.
CHIN UP! :)
CHIN UP! :)
pegs. thou we are not exactly close but i have been "stalking" you, reading abt your life and stuff. But somehow it kinda affect me when i read sad entries. i guess many readers will feel the same.
you are a strong beautiful girl!
i do love & support you...
3 cheers & 3 cheers for peggy!
hip hip hurray~
you are a strong beautiful girl!
i do love & support you...
3 cheers & 3 cheers for peggy!
hip hip hurray~
Hiya, this is specially for you =)
There isn't so much to be hurt, its ain't suppose to be so bad,
after some time has passed, it wouldn't seem so sad,
it isn't sunday everyday, it isn't always a happy day,
because there will always be a monday, a brand new start of your way,
even though it isn't easy, at times like this things seem irrational,
just remember one important thing, u will always be special,
so turn aside the cloudy skies, and put on yr sunny hat,
just keep on walking forward right now, cause u are who u are, and thats that.
There isn't so much to be hurt, its ain't suppose to be so bad,
after some time has passed, it wouldn't seem so sad,
it isn't sunday everyday, it isn't always a happy day,
because there will always be a monday, a brand new start of your way,
even though it isn't easy, at times like this things seem irrational,
just remember one important thing, u will always be special,
so turn aside the cloudy skies, and put on yr sunny hat,
just keep on walking forward right now, cause u are who u are, and thats that.
You're right, ignorance is bliss and all the world's a stage and the men and women merely players. Frm wat i see, you're made of pretty stern stuff so though life's real bitter right now, I'm sure you can walk it through and what goes down muz come up (like a SIN wave),so lady, Utopia is waiting for you.
thanks zhongying. :) *hugs*
rykiel, you're not a stalker lah!
and i agree that blogs can bond random people together sometimes.
and i really appreciate you being there to just share with me a word or two of encouragement, just when i need it most. thanks.
bzbeee, i'm seeing a glimmer. :)
david, i REALLY love the poem.
and i cannot describe how much the short phrases have warmed my heart. i actually wrote that poem down and pinned it on my noticeboard!
THANKS!
ivan, i like how you see a SIN curve. :*) you have a point there! what goes down must come up! i'm at the darkest hours now, things can only get better.
Post a Comment
rykiel, you're not a stalker lah!
and i agree that blogs can bond random people together sometimes.
and i really appreciate you being there to just share with me a word or two of encouragement, just when i need it most. thanks.
bzbeee, i'm seeing a glimmer. :)
david, i REALLY love the poem.
and i cannot describe how much the short phrases have warmed my heart. i actually wrote that poem down and pinned it on my noticeboard!
THANKS!
ivan, i like how you see a SIN curve. :*) you have a point there! what goes down must come up! i'm at the darkest hours now, things can only get better.
