Wednesday, December 21, 2005

♥singing♥

::the egyptian karaoke queen::






































i just came back from another singing session in orchard there.
but this time, i felt terrific. :)
i think its all the encouragement that kept me going and gave me strength to go on. the applause is the best of all! hehehe.. although i will feel shy sometimes. haha!

i really love to sing, i realised.


sometimes i feel very guilty...
because similar to alot of people, i take singing to be more than a passion.

i desire to excel in it. and i'm hungry for more applause, more encouragement. but somehow, i'm so useless and inactive when it comes to going after that dream. we started at the same point. and many of them has overtaken me.
not only in singing, but also in modelling.. acting.. etc.

is it that i'm not given a good opportunity,
or is it as simple as i'm not good enough?

i always thought i should have been more proactive.
and be bolder to prove myself.
have more courage to step forward to make people look at me.
but a part of me just refuse to give in to this desire sometimes.
i'm such a bitch. hahahahahaha..


anyway!!! :)
there will be only another 2 times of performance at this singing place i've been talking about. then after that, another group of singers will be taking over the job because the person in charge of our group (xinxu) is going overseas for attachment.
sigh. honestly, i'm kinda disappointed. because i'm falling in love with the feeling of singing in that cold smoky place filled with smelly ah peks. haha.
although that pub place is a lousy place,
although those people sitting in there might be more interested in their drinks than us,
and even though there is no one to listen to us sing,
we will still sing.
i love this type of committment.

like even if there is only one person who yearns to hear me sing,
i'll still sing with all my heart.
i enjoy it.
because maybe that song i sung will remind that person of someone he misses,
or somewhere he had been to before.
and i love to be part of the reminising.


i doubt there will be another chance for me to sing in public again.
if you ask me why did i not approach cafes like the ark or dreams cafe for an interview or whatsoever, actually.... i don't know also.
but i'm actually kinda self conscious. and i don't really have confidence! especially when i'm being put together with the professionals. those who have been singing for years.
not saying that xinxu and edwin are not pros.. lol. but they felt more like a friend. :) hehehe..

I DON'T KNOW!

i'm going for a philips audition tomorrow at pagoda street again!
hehe. hope i make it this time. as i've said, i have a terrible luck when it comes to castings and auditions. lol. teehehe. and i'm so so so looking forward to mini date with sindy dear this coming friday! :D

KTVeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yippeee-----!
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